It's An Uphill Climb

Whenever I hear someone make a prophetic declaration I listen reservedly.  When I hear the same or a similar word from a different and unrelated souce it gets my full attention, and then when I hear a third person making the same declaration I want to shout it from the mountaintop!  Below is a compilation of three posts my friends made on Facebook on December 1, 2011:

Wanda Bakalove wrote:  "There is a wave that's rising and it's not just happening in one or two nations but it's a wave of global proportions, for although the enemy is seeking to steal, kill and destroy in this hour God is rising and the light is going to get brighter and brighter.  And those who trust in Him will have a continual feast of His presence.  So many are afraid of evil tidings in this time, but:

Psalm 31:19 How great is Your goodness which You have laid up for those who fear You, which You have prepared for those who trust in You in the presence of the sons of men.

So be encouraged in the things that you knew that you knew that you knew were His voice yet because of the length of time and the seeming obstacles not only in your way but in you, God has laid those things up for you, and He is getting ready to unlock them and open the storehouse of His treasure to you.  For up until now you were not able to bear them.  The weight of them would have pulled you down.  But now I am getting ready not only to unleash my blessing on you, says the LORD, but I am getting ready to unleash you and bring you into the callings, the anointings that I have prepared for you beforehand even before you knew Me.  Be blessed!"

Mary Alice Isleib posted a word from Barbara Yoder:  "We have entered a unique time when God is looking for a passionate, desperate and abandoned lovers of Himself.  This is a season that we can't take leaven (sin, compromise, lukewarmness) into.  The more the presence of God comes to those who are abandoned, the more glory that will be poured out.  The past season of struggle has sorted out those who are abandoned lovers of God vs those who just want to be blessed.   We are about to be overwhelmed in the most positive sense."

PrayFit Blog:  "...isn't it interesting that you really don't know what motivates someone?  Some things you just can't see.  You can only see the result.  Oh sure, while the dashboard on my treadmill might give me the distance it doesn't know what it took to get me that far.  Pastor Chuck Swindoll wrote, 'Although this journey along the avenue of affliction is unpleasant and unappealing, it is inevitable.  Working through the hurt is essential if we hope to become effective for God.'

To be effective for God.  Isn't that the goal both physically and spiritually?  And since we know that nothing hits us without Him allowing it, it's a compliment that He believes we can work through the hurt.  Or better yet, we're never in pain alone...Listen closely, take courage and keep going.  Because thankfully, the road we're on as believers?  It's an incline."



A few weeks ago duirng prayer I could see the LORD sitting on His Throne.  He was speaking.  I could see His mouth moving as if He was shouting; however, I couldn't hear what He was saying.  I now believe that He was, no IS, shouting words of encouragement for us to keep moving, give it all we got, don't give up, trust Him even when it's hard.  It is an uphill climb, but you have what it takes to make it to the top. Don't be discouraged by hardships for these hardships will make you stronger.

Not only is the LORD cheering you on, He's running alongside you, pacing you.  You're not alone.

New Perspective

A couple of weeks ago I had a paradigm shift about running, and with this shift I no longer view running as something I need to achieve.  Running is not about my performance or ability.  Running is a means to connect with God's heart for whichever city I'm running through and pray for His Kingdom to come and His will to be done in that city.  This is what I heard God say to me, "Running is a prophetic act of intercession."  People do prayer walks all the time.  Running requires more.  Running enables me to cover more ground in less time and literally requires me to pour myself out and lay my soul bare before the LORD.

As I was meditating on this revelation the LORD reminded me of this Scripture:

"I promise you what I promised Moses:

‘Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you'..."

(Joshua 1:3 NLT).

I recently watched the movie Chariots of Fire again.  It came out 30 years ago, and it's still as powerful as ever.  Eric Liddel was a man of integrity, principle and character.  Another recommendation is the book "The Flying Scotsman," by Sally Magnusson, a biography about Eric Liddel focusing on the years following the events chronicled in the move--his years as a missionary in China. 

It is said that Eric Liddel ran as fast as he could at the beginning of a race, and then he threw his head back in surrender to God for the finish.  The quote he is most famous for saying is something like, "When I run I feel God's pleasure."  However, it was the screenwriter for Chariots of Fire who wrote that line for the movie.  Nevertheless, it's something to focus on.

Studies have shown people can endure just about anything when they get the focus off of themselves and any discomfort they feel to focus on another.  When they do what they do for someone else's benefit they can extend themselves further. 

I am running for a cause greater than myself.  I'm running after God's heart.

Recovering

I'm supposed to be on my way to Mankato, MN in preparation for a 10K race early tomorrow morning.  However, Dear Hubby and I decided to pull out of the race.  Two reasons:

1. I'm not ready due to my recent illness.
2. It's a long distance away requiring an overnight stay.

We decided that for a 10K, it wasn't worth it.  I am a bit disappointed, but I really think we made the right decision.  It would be a completely different matter if the race were closer to home, or if it were more significant...like a half or full-marathon.

That's the bad news.  The good news is that I am recovered and feeling strong.  I've had a few personal training sessions focusing on strength training, and now I'm ready to get back to my running schedule. 

The temperatures are cooling off, so no more feeling like I'm running trapped in the middle of a freshly baked muffin.  No more battling mosquitoes.  Right now it's the cool crisp air of fall leading up to the snow and ice of the Minnesota winter, and I'm planning on continuing to run outdoors.

Last winter I marveled at the folks I saw out running in the frigid cold.  I couldn't fathom what could entice them to continue running in those conditions.  Well, my next goal is to run a half-marathon in February, and it will be an outdoor race, so I'd better get in gear and get used to running outside if I'm going to be ready for that. 

I will focus on building back my running base for the next four weeks and then begin half-marathon training in earnest Thanksgiving week. 

Setbacks

No!  I haven't given up on my goal of running a marathon in 2012.  I've just had some setbacks in my training.

September 10 was a gorgeous day, and my hubby and I ran our first 10K race.  It went really well.  My pace was good, and after crossing the finish line, I discovered that the race organizers made a mistake in where they placed the starting/finish line, and the race was a quarter-mile longer than a 10K.  So, rather than 6.2, it was 6.45.  I felt great, and I was eager to begin training for my next 10K, which would be in 5 weeks.

BAM!  I got sick.  Headaches and sore throat and cough.  I tried to run anyway and discovered that running when you have a cough isn't a good idea.  So, I rested and recovered.  Started to feel good and was excited to get back into my training regime...BAM!  Sinus infection.  My husband and I ran anyway.  I thought my head would explode, but made it 3.5 miles at a snails' pace.  The next day was a rest day, but I woke up feeling better and started imagining my next run, then KABLOWIE! I got hit with a vicious GI infection and ended up in the ER.  3 liters of IV fluid and some really strong drugs got me through.



Here I am today...two weeks before my next 10K.  Only two runs under my belt since my last race a month ago.  I am feeling better but still foggy.  Gonna try to run tomorrow--easy run to start building strength and stamina. 

There's just really something to having a race on your calendar to keep you motivated. 

Built to Endure

I recently finished reading Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and The Greatest Race the World has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall.  I was completely fascinated by reading this book, and if you have even a remote interest in running I highly recommend this.  If you just like to read good non-fiction to be informed and inspired, I recommend this book to you as well.

In one of the later chapters (chapter 28 to be exact!), the author writes about some pretty compelling research proving that the human body was built for endurance.  We may not be the fastest creatures on earth, but we can run further than just about any other running animal out there.  Most animals can run fast, but they tire out after short distances.  Why?  Ineffecient breathing.  Mammals who run are limited by a cycle of take-a-step, take-a-breath, with the exception of--YOU.  The human body was made to take in large amounts of air, and we can control our breathing even when exerting ourselves.  The better a person breathes, the better endurance he has.

As I was reading about this scientific evidence, I couldn't help but think about the Scripture:

"Then the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground.  He breathed the breath of life into the man's nostrils, and the man became a living person." Genesis 2:7 NLT

Pretty cool huh?  God created us with the ability to endure.  A definition of endurance I heard awhile back was "the ability to be courageous under fire."  So, even in difficulty, God made us to be courageous and to press forward to victory.  Is it any wonder that the Apostle Paul often used the imagery of a farmer, a soldier and an athlete?

A couple of weeks ago I was in California with a group of ladies from my church attending a conference.  It was an awesome time of forming new friendships, etc.  We rented a house nearby a junior high school track, so, I was able to keep up with my running schedule.  The final morning we were there, I got up early and headed out to the track.  We had a busy schedule and I didn't get the sleep I needed.  I was tired, but decided to run anyway.  As I approached the track entrance I had an amazing experience with the LORD that I have not shared with anyone yet.  I couldn't see them, but I knew they were there.  I sensed a host of angels waiting for me at the track and clapping and cheering me on as I began my run.  It was just what I need to endure the fatigue I was feeling, and even though I didn't feel like it when I started out, I pressed through, breathed in the life of God, and had a good run.

Getting Stronger

Tuesday night the four of us (me, Dear Hubby and the two kids in a double jogging stroller) hit a local trail for an evening run.  I think it was the first time since I started running that the weather was actually pleasant--not the stifling steam room of the past month where you feel like you're running while trapped in the middle of a freshly baked muffin.

I wish I could claim credit for the muffin metaphor.  I actually plagiarized it from Christopher McDougall's book Born to Run, and it made me laugh because I could clearly imagine what it felt like to be trapped in the middle of a freshly baked muffin with all of the heat and humidity we've had.  I started reading this book this week, and I can't wait for breaks in my day to continue reading.  When I started my running odeyssey on June 1, the thought of running 26.2 miles was HUGE.  I didn't know about the world of ultra-marathons, 100-mile races, or the Tarahumara Indians. 

On the left we have USA Ultra-Runner Scott Jurek and on the right we have Arnolfo Quimare, a Tarahuma Indian native of Mexico's remote copper canyons.



I was pretty proud of myself for my run on Tuesday night.  I started at an easy jog, and continued jogging steadily for 2.25 miles without stopping and then walked/ran to complete 3.75 miles.  This was the first time I surpassed the two mile mark, and I didn't die!  Heck, I wasn't even breathing hard.  My husband kept commenting, "Dear Wife hit a stride!"  The thing is, he wasn't really amazed at my feat.  He has absolutely no doubt that I'm strong enough, and doesn't really understand why I doubt myself.

That's something to ponder.  Why do I doubt myself when I know full well that I'm capable of doing more than I am?  Why am I shocked that I can now run more than two miles at a time when there are people alive who run for days at a time without a break, indeed running is their main mode of transportation over the rugged terrain of the Copper Canyon? 

It was interesting to read about Lance Armstrong's first marathon.  At the end of his race, he texted his then wife, "Oh my God.  Hurts.  Terrible."  This from the greatest known endurance athlete--at least the one greatest known to me.  Just this morning, I read that Apollo Anton Ohno (the Olympic speed skating gold medalist) is retraining himself for his first marathon. 

What is it about running that is so appealing?  So addictive?  I'm still trying to figure that out. 

In any case, as I continue on I do indeed know that I'm getting stronger, and as I'm getting stronger the more I enjoy running.

Wabasha 5K--Race Re-cap

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

This Scripture took on new meaning for me. 

Dear Hubby and I planned on running in the Wabasha, Minnesota 5K race on Saturday, July 30, 2011.  It is also fitting as Wabasha is the location of the National Eagle Center.  We scheduled our baby sitter to arrive at 6:00 a.m. as it was an hour drive (and we had to stop at Caribou Coffee on the way!).  I was really tired on Friday night and looking forward to getting some sleep as it was Dear Hubby's turn to be on-call with baby Naomi during the night.  She woke up at 2:00 a.m., and Aaron got up at the same time looking for Daddy.  So, Daddy got Aaron back to bed, and I was up until close to 3:00 a.m. getting Naomi back to sleep.  I finally got back to sleep around 4:00 a.m., and 5:00 a.m. comes really fast. Needless to say, I was not in the best of moods as I was concerned about trying to run a 5K with so little sleep. 

We arrived in Wabasha, and we couldn't have asked for a better day.  For those reading this who live outside Minnesota, Wabasha is a beautiful little town along the Mississippi river notably famous as the location of the filming of the "Grumpy Old Men" movies.  The race was run along the river on a flat, straight trail.  Here's a picture:

I've discovered that the atmosphere in races is really fun.  There are the "serious" runners who are all business, but most are people who are there just for the fun of it.  People were at all different fitness levels.  There was one woman we chatted with who was in the same boat as me...just started running a couple of months ago, and this was also her second race.  She was working at getting in shape for her friend's beach wedding in Fiji at the end of the year.  Another woman was wearing a World Vision racing shirt and using this race as a warm-up for the Twin Cities half-marathon.  She is running to raise money for fresh water supplies for needy children world wide.  There was another woman running who was significantly obese and trudging along the best she could, and there were some kids running.  One boy was running at my pace, and I was pretty impressed with his focus and determination as he couldn't have been more than six.

All of these things served as inspiration to me, and my spirit was revived.  We were lined up at the starting line and the gun wouldn't go off, so the starter just shouted "GO!"  I was pleasantly surprised at my strength and stamina.  Even Dear Hubby commented during the race, "You're running stronger."  I did need to stop for a couple of walk breaks as I had pain in my shins (didn't want to risk shin splints), so I walked until the tension released and then ran some more.  We rounded the final corner and I saw the clock.  I was just under my goal time!  I kicked it up and crossed the finish line at 40 minutes, which is 3 minutes less than my last race. 

Could I have done better?  Maybe, but I feel good about what I did as it was a personal record for me.  So, as there is no rest for the weary, today begins training for my first 10K race on September 10.



Run Hard and Run Strong

I've been reading a book by Lisa Bevere, Lioness Arising. The message in the book has encouraged me as well as challenged me to the core.  It's the reason I chose a photograph of a lioness running to illustrate this blog.

Lionesses are master hunters; however, they are not fast runners.  Their prey can easily outrun them.  As lionesses hunt, they are strategic, purposeful and intentional.  They patiently stalk their prey in a crouched position ready to pounce at the right time.  Lionesses also work as a team to coordinate the kill. What I found interesting is that although they are confidently strong and powerful, lionesses are not very fast.  As I was pondering this I heard the LORD say, "Run hard and run strong.  Run with purpose and intention."

Notice, He did not tell me to run fast.  I just need to run with full effort and to stay focused.

I can honestly say that in my training runs over the past few weeks I finish feeling like I could have done more.  I admit that I'm holding back.  I can do better.  Last night we (Dear Hubby and the two kids in a double jogging stroller) hit the trail as a family.  I meditated on this truth and challenge from the LORD to run hard and to run strong, and I felt very satisfied at the end of the 3.5 miles.  I probably could have done a bit better, but I'll give myself a 90% which is more effort than I was putting out in the days before.

My second 5K is this Saturday.

My First 5K--Race Recap

Well, I did it!  I finished my first 5K with an official time of 43 min. 7 sec.  3 min and 7 sec behind the goal I set for myself.  I'm disappointed because I know I could have done better, and I know exactly what went wrong.

The race got underway, and I was doing great past the 1-mile marker.  I kept running, and then I started looking for the half-way point.  The trail got super curvy, and I imagined that the half-way mark would be around the next curve.  It wasn't.  More curves.  Okay, so it'll be around this curve.  Nope.  This one?  Nope.  Each time there were just more curves, and I found myself getting discouraged, and I lost focus.  I stopped running and started walking.  Finally, I saw the half-way point and started to run again, and then I walked/ran the rest of the way to the finish.  I ran the last leg across the finish line.

I crossed the finish line one second ahead of the guy with the blue shirt.  Hey!  Who was that guy who ran the race in blue jeans?  Yep!  My Dear Hubby.  As we were waiting for the race to start he looked around and exclaimed, "I could run this with you!  Where do I sign up?"  So, he signed up, pinned the number to his shirt and ran the race with me in blue jeans and shoes he bought at Target about 15-20 years ago.  He gallantly and chivalrously allowed me to cross the finish line ahead of him.  He's a good guy!



Here's the icing on the cake...as we were driving home he said, "I think I'll start training and do the marathon with you."  YEAH!!



So, the next morning we bought him some real running shoes, anti-friction socks and running shorts, and now we're on this adventure together.



What are you capable of?

We are all in a process of discovering what we're capable of.

Many years ago I prayed and committed to the LORD that He could use me in any way He wanted.  I made a similar vow to Him that "I will go where You send me.  I will do what You ask me."  I prayed this prayer just prior to my first mission trip to Minsk, Belarus.  During one of the services, the leader gave an altar call and many responded.  She was leading worship and wanted to go down and pray for those who responded, so she said, "Rebecca, come up here and sing."  I immediately got out of my seat, took the microphone, faced the congregation and panicked, "I can't sing!"  I heard the LORD say to me, "You said I could use you any way I wanted."  So, I started to sing.  The poor keyboard player had a rough time trying to figure out which key to play as I switched keys constantly.  My performance was awful; however, people were blessed and God was glorified, and that's all that mattered.

Then the LORD called me to move to Minneapolis to help start a church.  I prayed this specific prayer, "LORD, you can use me in any way You want.  Just please don't make me work with the kids."  Yep!  I spent the next eight years leading the children's ministry.

Now, in this season, the LORD called me to run a marathon so He can reveal to me what I'm made of.  I don't even want to think about what He has in store for me once this odyssey is finished!

Why does God repeatedly ask me to do things that require me to work out of my weakness?  When will I get to do something that I feel comfortable and confident doing?  I recently found this quote, and it so beautifully answers these questions:

When I'm willing to work out of my weakness, there are more chances for God to show up and for the unexpected to happen.--Jason Gray

So, here I am, five weeks after I ran my first mile, about to run my first 5K, and I'm ready for it.  Having a race on my calendar really brought focus to my running days.  Each time I ran I went farther and faster than I planned.  I'm looking forward to experiencing what it's like to be in a race.



The thought of running a marathon is daunting.  I can't think about it yet.  No, I'm not being a Scarlett O'Hara ("I don't want to think about that now.  I'll think about it tomorrow.")  I just don't want to overwhelm myself, so I'm focusing on smaller goals leading up to the fulfillment of the big one. 

Many people have big dreams but never realize them because they never take the first step in fulfilling them.  I've often heard it said that no one wants to hear about what you didn't do.  I think people equally don't want to hear excuses about why you didn't even try.  So, that's the reason for this blog.  It's keeping me focused on my journey as well as accountable to anyone who happens to be reading this.

I'm not ready to run a full marathon, but I'm ready for the 5K, and the other races I have on my radar through the year leading up to the BIG RACE.

July 8, 2011--5K in Rochester, MN

July 30, 2011--5K in Wabasha, MN

October 22, 2011--10K in Mankato, MN

May 2012--Half Marathon in Rochester, MN

October 2012--Full Marathon in Mankato, MN

NEXT POST--5K Race Recap!!



RUN ANYWAY

My training plan is basically,

• Sunday--rest day
• Monday--RUN and personal training session
• Tuesday--walk
• Wednesday--RUN
• Thursday--walk
• Friday--personal training session
• Saturday--RUN

Here's a run down of my week so far (sorry for the pun!). 

Last Friday I had a full hour training session, rather than my usual half-hour, and my trainer worked me hard.  It was all strength training starting from lower body to upper body and finishing up with core.  The workout started with a series of sumo squats, single leg step-ups and then single leg presses.  The next morning, Saturday, my glutes were sore.  I wimpered thinking about the fact that I was supposed to run that day.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered hearing that cardio work helps to work muscle soreness out, so, even though I was in pain, I decided to RUN ANYWAY.  I went 2.52 miles (run/walk) averaging 15:46 per mile.  I thought I did pretty good under less than ideal circumstances.  I wondered what I could do on a day when I felt better?

On Monday I did feel better, but knowing I had a personal training session following my run, should I hold back?  No, RUN ANYWAY!  I went 2.24 miles (more running than walking) averaging a faster pace of 14:46 per mile.

Then came Wednesday...a scheduled running day, and it was raining.  My trainer challenged me previously, "Even if it's raining I want you running outside, because come race day, rain or shine, you're going."  I really didn't want to run in the rain, especially after the day I was already having.  The morning was a very stressful work day, then I had to go for my regular dental cleaning and exam (no cavities, yeah!), and still the rain rain rain came down down down.  A blustery day.  I decided I wanted to run on a different part of Douglas Trail for some different scenery about five miles away.  I was stopped at a stop light and really tempted to text my trainer a whiny message, "I don't wanna run in the rain!"  Sigh...I knew I'd regret it if I didn't.  RUN ANYWAY!

I asked God to hold off the rain during my run, and He kindly had mercy on me.  The rain did stop.  I set my iPod to my workout playlist and hit shuffle, and the first song just so happened to be Misty Edwards' "My Soul Longs for You" with a driving chorus of "Let it Rain!  Let it Rain!  Let it Rain!"  Something rose up within me and I thought, "Bring it on!  Let it Rain!  I'm going to RUN ANYWAY!"  And in spite of the fact that I didn't want to run, I ended up setting a personal record by going 2.14 miles averaging under 14 minute miles, and in the last 1/2 mile I ran at a 12 minute/mile pace!

I know as I continue this journey towards a marathon, I will have many more challenges and many more excuses not to press through the discomfort.  Everyone who is training goes through similar situations, some more challenging than others.  I've even heard about people running marathons while going through chemotherapy.  Thinking about that begs the question, "What do I have to complain about?"

RUN ANYWAY!!!

What the Heck Am I Doing?

Have you ever felt out of place, like you didn't belong?  Awkward?  Uncomfortable in a situation?  I think everybody has experienced this at one time or another.  What do you do during these times?  You RUN as fast as you can out of that situation! 

What do you do if running makes you feel out of place, awkward, and uncomfortable?

Yesterday I ran 3.02 miles on the treadmill at the gym after an intense upper body strength workout.  I wanted to experience what 3 miles felt like in preparation for my first 5K race in a few weeks.  It took me 50 minutes, and I didn't die.  I know the time I have to beat and the pace I need to run to cross the finish line in a respectable amount of time, and as I'm writing these words I feel like I'm talking about someone else.  It's almost ridiculous.  All of this is so far outside of the realm of how I identify myself.  I don't know how to form thoughts around the subject of running, all I know is that I just need to keep running.

This process is a deep, personal and challenging journey the LORD called me to.  No person could have inspired me to begin to run.  I feel like a switch was turned on in a hidden room within my being bringing light to a part of myself that I never knew was there.  I was talking to my pastor over the weekend, and he made the statement, "Rebecca, I think you can...no, you're going to do it!"  I'm going to run a marathon.

I can't get away from it.  Everywhere I look I see tokens of running marathons.  I see oval stickers on some cars "26.2."  A few weeks ago I wouldn't have known that that is the official distance of a marathon.  I notice runners out on the roads and trails and marvel at how graceful they look.  Even in studying Hebrew, the textbook has phrases to translate like: "Will you run in the marathon this week?" "More than 38,000 people ran in the Boston Marathon."

Many years ago I asked myself the question, "What if God calls me to a hard place?"  The answer I experienced over and over again is that if God calls me He will supply the grace.  All He asks of me is to trust Him, and He has never disappointed me.  God has called me to hard places and put me in many awkward moments.  Each one has revealed an aspect of God's love, grace, mercy and faithfulness, and has also helped me to stretch and grow and change to become the woman God intended me to be.

So, the answer to "What the Heck Am I Doing?" is...

I am wholeheartedly following after the leading of the LORD in every aspect of my life, and I'm trusting Him to reveal the lessons He wants to teach and to form His nature and character in me.  I recently listened to a marathon podcast.  The speaker was talking about a group of people she's seen in various marathons wearing shirts stating "Team 4:13" in reference to Phillippeans 4:13...

Yes, I am strong enough!

Building a Base

Start where you are rather than where you want to be. 

I understand that before I can even think about training for a marathon I need to be running 3-5 miles 3 times per week for 3-6 months.  That sounds do-able, doesn't it?  Yeah, until I actually put my feet to the pavement and run.  I just came back from a 1.74 mile "run."  Okay it was 50% run/walk on an 80+ degree day after having only about 3 hours of intermittant sleep last night.  My goal today was to run a mile in faster time than I did last week.  Didn't quite make it, but I didn't bomb out either.  I didn't go as fast, but I went a 1/4 mile longer and burned more calories this time, and if I can do that under less than optimal conditions wait until I get into better shape!  Measuring progress not perfection, and I've definitely progressed.  No reason at all to feel discouraged, quite the contrary.  I'm amazed at the change in my perspective.

It's ony been one week since I became a runner.  Yes, I am a runner!  Got the cute running shorts and neon green-laced running shoes to prove it.  For years I was discouraged, okay intimidated by running because I don't look like a runner, and I don't run very fast.  So what?!  I'm out there on the trail huffing and puffing and heaving, but I'm running farther than I ever have in my entire life.  Not only am I amazed at my change in perspective, I'm amazed at my change in desire.  I never imagined that I would want to literally run a race.  I'm savoring each moment of this process, even thought I'm not sure where it's going to lead.  Across the finish line?  Yes, that, but there's more that God desires to develop in me before this journey is complete.

"Then the LORD answered me and said, 'Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets [i.e. write a blog!] that the one who reads it may run.  For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail.  Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.'"  Hab 2:2-3

There will always be people who finish before me, and there will be people who finish after me.  The important thing is that I'm in the race and no longer just a spectator on the sidelines.

I need the courage to face my weaknesses and fears head-on.  Admit them.  Acknowledge them.  Then conquer them by the grace of God working in me.  Paul had to come to terms with the thorn, and so do I.  God didn't remove the thorn; He simply said, "My grace is sufficient."

I HATE RUNNING

The journey of 26.2 miles begins with 1.51 miles.

Yes, it's true.  I HATE RUNNING!  So, why in the heck am I planning on running a marathon next year?  Here's the beginning of the story...

On Saturday, May 28, 2011 I was out walking with my three-year-old son.  I prayed as we walked, as I normally do.  While I was praying I heard the LORD say, "You're stronger than you know."  I was pondering that statement and kept envisioning myself running in a race.  As I continued to ponder myself running in a race I began to weep.  I could see myself crossing the finish line, and I've never wanted anything more.  I understood that this race I envisioned was not symbolic.  The Lord was calling me to run a marathon as He wants to "unlock a strength in me that will surprise many."

As a kid, I was the fat girl who was always picked last for teams.  I wasn't interested in sports, but I played softball while in grades 4-6.  My father wondered why I even wanted to play softball, and then he realized...I was doing it for him.  He was right.  My father was a baseball fan, and I believed that if I played softball it would help me connect with him (I always felt like I was the biggest disappointment in his life because I wasn't a boy).  It didn't work very well because I wasn't that good, and I felt his embarrassment.  Sadly, he passed away when I was twelve years old, and I never had the father/daughter relationship I longed for.

The years passed, and I grew up to be a rather insecure woman, obese (at one point tipping the scale at 240 lbs.), sedentary, and very depressed.  There was a turning point.  By God's grace I fought back against the forces that were holding me down and holding me back from being the woman God intended me to be.  I went through counseling, grew more in my faith, lost about 50 lbs., and met my Dear Hubby, who introduced me to weight lifting and biking, which I grew to love.  However, achieving my ideal of healthy fitness alluded me.

Over the past ten years, we've endured the loss of my mother and both of my husband's parents, and we celebrated the birth of our children.  All good excuses for letting myself go. 

With the birth of my daughter I went through significant baby blues that lasted throughout the first year of her life.  I firmly believe that this bout of depression was due to sleep deprivation and lack of exercise and good nutrition.  One day, my husband couldn't stand it anymore and he said, "Go join a gym, and start exercising again.  You'll feel better."  So, I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer.

That was three months ago.  I am stronger and happier than I've felt in a long time, and with the vision of myself crossing the finish line, and hearing God say, "You're stronger than you know" I have the motivation to push forward. 

My trainer said the best thing for me to do is to simply start running.  So, I bought a pair of running shoes, downloaded the RunKeeper app on my iPhone, and I set out to run, and on June 1, 2011 I ran a whole mile non-stop for the first time in my life!